Pangur Perfect

what would I do without you?
my love

so peaceful in sleep this morning

bare shoulders
cresting soft blankets

as the sun’s rays illuminate

your radiance

you: your ring

This morning as I sip my tea, with sudden

     pause and catch of breath I am painfully aware

     of an itch
     a tingling absence
     on my finger

     your ring

Somehow in fitful unrest
     you slipped out from my hand
     unnoticed
     slumber robbing me of chance or gaze
     a void instead of

     you
     your ring

Fidgeting and anxious I overturn
     pillows
     sheets
     wrinkles
     cats
     clinging close to hope of a copper glimpse

     of you
     your ring

Time and duty call me from you
     and I have spent the day

     flicking
     and itching
     and aching for

     that smallest comfort
     your smallest embrace

     your ring

Pangur Dove/Pangur Dubh

Pangur Dove, the beast of black,
Is ever clutched upon my back
Clutched by day and clutched by night,
My heart he grips, he wrings it tight

Round and round he swims my mind
Stirring thoughts of darkest kind
Plying panic is his skill
He means me well; I loathe him still

Harmonious, we’re heroes both
We murder doubt, we strangle sloth
Pangur Perfect, steed of fire
Canters manic with desire

Dissonant, we’re wretched kin
Trampled, biting, torn within
Pangur Darkest I see most;
This hellish beast to which I’m host

Brewed out from the darkest me
‘Tis serf to instinct Pangur be
“Protect, preserve, praise God your fear!”
Tongues Silver Pangur in my ear

“Protect thee from the world I do
For naught but wind might shatter you!
Preserve thine failure, ev’ry deed
For fear is all you’ll ever need”

Thus work his claws into my back
Pangur Dubh, the kneader black
Clutched at birth and clutched at end
Hero, villain, creature, friend

One day his bridled back I’ll ride
Now, day by day, I’m wrenched aside
Call me coward, call me brave
He is my steed, I am his slave

• #inspired by the Gaelic poem Pangur Ban